Why is the rum gone?

It's been an odd few weeks. I started feeling off about two weeks ago, but didn't have a fever so I figured my body was angry about me trying to skip a period via the pill. But last week Monday the cold symptoms set in, and I've just felt gross and run down all this week, too.

I had my marketplace sale, and while the customer turnout was abysmally low (I think most brewery patrons that day didn't even know there was a sale in the adjacent room) I actually made three sales, and only one of them was a person I knew xD WS swung by and bought a galaxy pendant for herself (I didn't have any good photos as they were earlier work that I dug up for the sale), a tiny blue sea dragon for her daughter to give someone, my Up North lake landscape magnet, and several Starry Night magnets. I didn't let her pay me much for the magnets, as they were my first attempts and were kind of sloppy.

I just participated in my second monthly Spotlight Market Night sale on Facebook, and both months (each artist can list a single item) my item sold! This month I made a glowing flower fairy (electric candle and glow in the dark clay). I haven't made human figures in a long time and I wasn't really happy, but she got snatched up 13 minutes after I posted the listing. THIRTEEN MINUTES! The right publicity is everything, eh?

I hate that Blogger won't let me post photos from my phone anymore. It's part of why I haven't had good picture posts of late. For the moment I'm sharing some from my artist page on FB, but those links tend to stop working over time. I'm trying to decide if I want to let Google "store" (access) my photos just so I can post them here. There is no privacy anywhere anymore.

This weekend we got all seven adulty-adults from theater together! I think there's been some degree of gathering each Saturday for the last month, but one night it was just Props Master's girlfriend, CB, SO, and me, and last week was just CB, SO, and me.

CB mentioned Mardis Gras and I said I'll do dinner with them Tuesday if they have beads.

Anyway, last night we bandied about script ideas for this year's Short Play Festival, but Othello made the announcement of script deadlines super late and no ideas really came together. Maybe next year. Only one author has to be a current student, after all. This Wednesday is SPF auditions, and a lot of us are going to swing by to say hi to Othello and be on standby if there aren't enough students auditioning to keep the show going. This coming weekend is the SPF. We also made plans for a dungeons & dragons night in two weeks. Some of us (like Charlie) are veterans, some have only played once, and some are completely new, so this could be quite the adventure.

I am still tired and not entirely better from the cold and/or whatever else, so I think today is going to be a day where I sit around being a blob. I am ok with this. Working 5 days straight while sick is for the birds, but what can you do? I'd better rest up so I'm ready for the next stretch.

Butterflies in my Stomach

I have had tummy trouble for a solid (FOUR. Because I've it's 2017) years now. The idiot physician's assistant slapped the label GERD on it (despite not having, you know, reflux) then a year later they said it was an h. Pylori infection, but when treatment only provided a temporary reduction in symptoms they continued the "maybe you'll need to be on antacids for the rest of your life" line without looking too deeply into it.

I saw a gastroenterologist in January, and he started with a gallbladder ultrasound (didn't show any stones) and a blood test for Celiac (negative). The next step, if they ever call me again, is setting up an endoscopy so they can go poking around in my esophagus, stomach, and small intestine to look for problems and take a more accurate sample to test for h. Pylori.

I've had new and worse symptoms this year, but it really came to a head when I could no longer drink Diet Coke.

I live on Diet Coke.

I couldn't get the air back out, which was giving me dry heaves.

I tried continuing anyway, just cutting back over the course of about a week. Finally this week I gave up on it altogether, even the measly little can of Vanilla Zero in the mornings was torture.

My stomach has also decided to rebel at random as-yet-unidentified foods which were never a problem in the past. Including at work. I left early on Thursday because I was worried that I was going to refund my Spaghetti-Os (don't judge, they're cheap, an with meatballs and parmesan they're tasty, too) into a trash can.

So I haven't eaten much this week.

I needed a catalyst; I guess this was it. A few minutes ago I stepped on my own scale for the first time this year. It was 7 pounds less than the number on the gastroenterologist's scale a few weeks ago, and 4 pounds less than the last time I checked at home. I am pleased.

Dinner with CB and SO was nice. We'd established beforehand that I couldn't drink or stay up too late (I have to be up at 6 for work) so I figured when I made plans that we would probably just be talking.

We had dinner and talked. Got to know each other a little more. It was several hours before we even brought up the idea of friendly touching. We felt out boundaries, motivations, goals, ideas.

Everyone has been tested for infections, we will be using multiple contraceptive methods, we have outlined a few "I'm not down for that"s, we are going to take it slow. All parties are in agreement that it's not good to go in with a mission to have sex at a particular date and time. If you plan that way, the night is a failure if nothing (or not much) happens, and that just does not set the mood. We'll just hang out and get more comfortable with each other and see what happens.

This could be seen as reckless behavior in a sense. But it's also very thought out and calculated. We're being safe, we're being open about consent, we've all agreed that the friendships come first. We're not going to prioritize this over the group of friends we've been meeting with regularly, and we've all agreed that we're not ashamed of what we're planning and will be ok if (when, really... SO shares a lot when she's drunk) word gets out. None of us are casual about sex. I said I don't need to be romantically involved right now, but what I need is trust, and that doesn't come easily. CB said he doesn't need to be romantically involved, but he does want to know the person and care about them. SO is much less direct about communication, but her main roadblock is insecurity. She asked me "Why US?" and said what she really felt was "Why ME?"

I said because  I find them BOTH attractive and like them as people and I knew they were both interested in experimenting and I never in my lifetime thought that I would encounter people that I actually WANTED to try this with and I was ok with being shot down but I would regret not asking them and never knowing.

We tried to plan a group night (barbeque and zombie comedies) this weekend with the whole theater crowd, but no one else has RSVPed so it may just be the three of us again.

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals (part II - adult content)

*Side note - I was not intending Hummingbird's history to become a focal point. CB and his SO were both involved in Drama Club several years ago. SO has problems with mental illness but works to take care of herself, and has always managed to get along until Hummingbird persuaded SO to leave CB and take their kids across state lines, which just happens to be kidnapping. In SO's words, "She took advantage of me while I was cycling." With what I know of Hummingbird, SHE was very likely cycling as well, and I suspect she believed whatever reality she concocted regarding that situation, and fed it to SO. SO came back home and they mended the relationship.*

Enough about Hummingbird. She is now an unperson. Back to Birthday Night.

So this is where it gets interesting. CB and his SO have been in a committed relationship for the better part of a decade. She is more than a little bisexual, but has never been with another woman.

There was actually a, um, group experience involving several Drama Club girls and the two of them several years ago. They gave each other permission to play, but there was a lot of alcohol involed, and she being a lightweight passed out early on and didn't get fully involved in the action.

He said he is open to other partners but they otherwise have not explored beyond their relationship because he respects her boundaries.

That night, we were all more than a little drunk, and we were all rather snuggly. It started giving me Ideas.

Last night a group of us went to their place for a movie night of The Princess Bride. CB made the plan because several people in the fall show cast have never seen it (CRIMINAL!), but none of those people were able to make it. That may be just as well, because we all hollered lines for 90% of the duration of the movie. Possibly intimidating for a newbie...

So I waited until it was just CB, SO, and me left, and started a conversation.

First, I asked about the fallout after the first time. I was aware that there were rumors about him within the old Drama Club. He said that shortly after, everything seemed to be ok. One girl even said she'd had her first orgasm that night. But eventually it devolved into rumors and distortion, and no one would own up to talking trash. What filtered down to Charlie (I asked when CB showed up, as I knew there were some former members that some disliked) was that CB had cheated on SO, which sounds a whole lot worse than "Had a drunken orgy." At least, in my opinion. Cheating is unforgivable in my book, but if you have permission, it's not cheating.

Rumors aside, SO was not uncomfortable with what happened. She said she's just sorry she missed out. CB said the only thing that made him feel a little weird was that they were all VERY drunk, and before he was with SO, he turned down opportunities for sex when everyone was that much under the influence.

Once I was confident that they were both ok with the previous experience as far as their relationship, I told them if they ever wanted to try something like that, I'd be interested in participating.

Then we talked for a while about comfort levels, planning, and possibilities. I told them that if they weren't interested, that was ok - and that I'd rather be friends than fuckbuddies if one would interfere with the other.

She once had a friend suggest a threesome on the spot, and SO was too nervous to go through with it. Apparently it has been a big regret, and that friend is now in a relationship, thus off-limits.

SO said that her trouble with insecurity and anxiety means that while she may really WANT to play, she drinks to get more comfortable, and it is hard to find the sweet spot between being comfortable enough to experiment but not sick. I said that as she is the most apprehensive, she would be the one to set the pace, and that I'd consider her a priority since she missed out on the last opportunity. I said that anyone could call it off at any time and that's ok.

I told them I would leave the ball in their court, and that if they didn't bring it up again, I would take it as a "No, thank you" and would not push the idea.

This morning CB checked in with a text asking how I was. I told him I was feeling ok, just tired after the long weeks of planning for my sales table yesterday and planning to have a day for rest. I asked how he was, and he said also tired, but good.

He and SO invited me to dinner this Wednesday. I said yes.