Kinky

So that you know where I'm coming from, as I don't care to discuss everything that fed into the last post, here is where I stand.

There is a difference between giving someone your power and having your power taken away. One is kink, the other is rape. If you find it sexy to give up your power, even if it's something I wouldn't like (and some things I definitely do like), more power to you. Power play is about trust, not force.
If you take someone's power by force, you have committed a crime. If you think it's sexy to create or consume fantasies (role play, porn, etc) about taking someone's power, you are saying rape is sexy. You're saying the act of force is what makes the experience enjoyable. I believe that is harmful even if it's carried out by consenting adults. That crosses a line for me and I do not apologize for not being ok with rape fantasy. If you are simulating raping a child, you are fantasizing about a situation where the person is literally incapable of providing consent. That crosses another line altogether. While I might cringe at the idea of rape fantasy, enjoying and defending child rape fantasy is something I don't need in my life.

For the most part I don't care so long as it's not being physically or verbally carried on in front of me. I don't screen people for their sexual preferences before I decide if we can be friends.

But some things are definitely justification for severing ties. Telling me that being sex positive means never evaluating if a sexual practice (even if done by choice) is harmful to the people who engage in it or to society as a whole... and not being allowed to speak up if I believe it is harmful... that is an irreconcilable difference for any kind of relationship with me.

Pedophelia is not a kink.

Incest is not a fucking kink.

You do not get to tell me I should sit down and shut up about my "kinkshaming" behaviors that normalize rape and abuse and suggest the victim enjoys it.

I will not apologize for that. You don't get to tell me "we were never friends" for having this conviction and being willing to sever ties because of it.

Discussions I've initiated to help me process a traumatic night involving a non-Drama Club friend of Anthony and Ophelia have led to unexpected revelations about where other people stand with "kink" and nonconsensual sexual contact.

If you touch me without permission I will fucking attack you because under the law that is a fucking sex crime. I was not touched, Red was. There was a lack of appropriate boundaries with Ophelia that fed into a situation where that became possible. I saw it coming, apparently no one else did. I am the only one who nearly lost my mind over it because apparently some people think that when it's a cute girl running around grabbing people it's not so much a problem???

Oddly enough, the discussion was at the tail end of my processing the aftermath with Anthony and Ophelia. Anthony has been nothing but upstanding and supportive, Ophelia has been more defensive but has still taken action in ways that tell me her beliefs even if she can't articulate them. We're in an ok place as friends, of which I am glad. Ophelia moves cross-country for work in less than a week, and Anthony follows three weeks after. If we part ways on good terms our friendship just might survive the distance.

Despite the intense difficulties, they are still some of the closest friends I have, and it is going to tear me up to have them disappear so soon after we connected, especially Anthony.

Everything sucks.

I am not used to chaotic friendships. I am not blameless, neither are they. There was a really fucking horrifying catalyst. We are picking up the pieces and moving forward cautiously.

And then the shit REALLY hit the fan

I can't even talk about it yet. Friendships disintegrating, head imploding. I am not ok.