Monday, June 12, 2017

I'm so lost and tired. I had my a laparascopic cholecystectomy last week, meaning they cut my gallbladder away and pulled it out through an incision in my belly button. Recovery has been harder than I expected.

Everything is so ugly and tangled in my head right now. Ophelia said she'd talk to me about her experiences with local care but she keeps forgetting, and I told her I don't feel ok continuing to ask. She says she'll talk to me tonight.

Anthony is moving in a week an a half.

The rest of the group... They don't make plans, they rarely join plans, they are introverted and flaky. I feel like things are Ending for all of us and it is the worst feeling.

I feel so, so alone and lonely. I can't even keep friends.

I went to Pride this weekend, despite the sore and puffy belly, and met some ladies from a (state) local women's group I stumbled across a few months ago. I think there are some really nice people; I'm going to try to make myself go to the monthly group outing in a few weeks.

In the meantime... I'm glad to have Percocet. I definitely need it for pain but I've also been too gorked to feel much of anything. I'm tired of feeling.