Real Talk

CB & SO need names. Anthony & Ophelia

I marched over to their place and said we needed to talk it out.

Maybe not as aggressively as that sounds, but we met up to talk it out. I told them I wanted to respect their privacy but we were talking about something that involves me, and I have a right to be human about that, and what limited information I had was sending my mind in tailspins, including that there had been a problem during times we were together and I had missed cues.

Ophelia struggles with mental illness, and it turns out that spring is the hardest time of year for her. She is currently cycling and they wanted time separate from our physical relationship so that Ophelia didn't end up hurting me and so that our relationship doesn't worsen/trigger issues for Ophelia. Anthony was vague about reasoning because he didn't want the explanation to make things worse for Ophelia, and wanted to respect her privacy.

We had a very long, very in-depth conversation that put my mind at ease. There will probably not be any more physical encounters before they move to Colorado, but that door isn't locked, it just depends on how Ophelia is doing. I told them I wouldn't make any moves or take anything as a signal unless she pretty much jumps my bones.

I learned a lot about both of them that night. Anthony comes across with kind of a swagger, but he has some serious, deep insecurities - and he is actually capable of talking about them. Ophelia and I chatted about our different kinds of crazy, and coping skills. I had been terrified that I'd seriously misjudged them based on the initial weirdness and vagueness, but I went home liking - and respecting - them more. I think I also put Ophelia at ease that I don't bail on my friends just because neurotransmitters are having a seasonal spaz session.

I left confident that we are friends.

I know these posts don't get comments - I'm probably weirding a lot of people out. But it's nice to think out loud.

Random addition: I have had 10 art sales in the last 2 weeks. Yay. My collection of unsold figures is dwindling, so I must make more things!