*Side note - I was not intending Hummingbird's history to become a focal point. CB and his SO were both involved in Drama Club several years ago. SO has problems with mental illness but works to take care of herself, and has always managed to get along until Hummingbird persuaded SO to leave CB and take their kids across state lines, which just happens to be kidnapping. In SO's words, "She took advantage of me while I was cycling." With what I know of Hummingbird, SHE was very likely cycling as well, and I suspect she believed whatever reality she concocted regarding that situation, and fed it to SO. SO came back home and they mended the relationship.*
Enough about Hummingbird. She is now an unperson. Back to Birthday Night.
So this is where it gets interesting. CB and his SO have been in a committed relationship for the better part of a decade. She is more than a little bisexual, but has never been with another woman.
There was actually a, um, group experience involving several Drama Club girls and the two of them several years ago. They gave each other permission to play, but there was a lot of alcohol involed, and she being a lightweight passed out early on and didn't get fully involved in the action.
He said he is open to other partners but they otherwise have not explored beyond their relationship because he respects her boundaries.
That night, we were all more than a little drunk, and we were all rather snuggly. It started giving me Ideas.
Last night a group of us went to their place for a movie night of The Princess Bride. CB made the plan because several people in the fall show cast have never seen it (CRIMINAL!), but none of those people were able to make it. That may be just as well, because we all hollered lines for 90% of the duration of the movie. Possibly intimidating for a newbie...
So I waited until it was just CB, SO, and me left, and started a conversation.
First, I asked about the fallout after the first time. I was aware that there were rumors about him within the old Drama Club. He said that shortly after, everything seemed to be ok. One girl even said she'd had her first orgasm that night. But eventually it devolved into rumors and distortion, and no one would own up to talking trash. What filtered down to Charlie (I asked when CB showed up, as I knew there were some former members that some disliked) was that CB had cheated on SO, which sounds a whole lot worse than "Had a drunken orgy." At least, in my opinion. Cheating is unforgivable in my book, but if you have permission, it's not cheating.
Rumors aside, SO was not uncomfortable with what happened. She said she's just sorry she missed out. CB said the only thing that made him feel a little weird was that they were all VERY drunk, and before he was with SO, he turned down opportunities for sex when everyone was that much under the influence.
Once I was confident that they were both ok with the previous experience as far as their relationship, I told them if they ever wanted to try something like that, I'd be interested in participating.
Then we talked for a while about comfort levels, planning, and possibilities. I told them that if they weren't interested, that was ok - and that I'd rather be friends than fuckbuddies if one would interfere with the other.
She once had a friend suggest a threesome on the spot, and SO was too nervous to go through with it. Apparently it has been a big regret, and that friend is now in a relationship, thus off-limits.
SO said that her trouble with insecurity and anxiety means that while she may really WANT to play, she drinks to get more comfortable, and it is hard to find the sweet spot between being comfortable enough to experiment but not sick. I said that as she is the most apprehensive, she would be the one to set the pace, and that I'd consider her a priority since she missed out on the last opportunity. I said that anyone could call it off at any time and that's ok.
I told them I would leave the ball in their court, and that if they didn't bring it up again, I would take it as a "No, thank you" and would not push the idea.
This morning CB checked in with a text asking how I was. I told him I was feeling ok, just tired after the long weeks of planning for my sales table yesterday and planning to have a day for rest. I asked how he was, and he said also tired, but good.
He and SO invited me to dinner this Wednesday. I said yes.
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